(Notes from FB Live Oct 18 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

I realized this morning that what I was chasing would continue to elude me because it could never be caught.

I have been chasing language to define my passion, my purpose, my “why” in order to put some form around so I can make a solid plan to ease my suffering and build contentment.

This morning I hit the gym for the first time in weeks. As I was walking on the treadmill I felt the energy flood me both physically and emotionally. As my body got pumped full of oxygen and my muscles warmed and stretched, my “feel good” about self and about life filled up magnificently and the energy that poured into me expanded into every cell in my being.

Now I get to target what sparks my energetic self both physically and emotionally and although it may be scary – that doesn’t matter. It all has to do with what makes me feel right inside.

I scanned back through my life and thought of the times when I felt most energized.

It was when I was helping people find their breakthrough. Finding their path through their chaos. Finding their worth in their world of unworthiness. It was when someone was stuck in their terror and hopelessness and suddenly realized that someone else understood. That perhaps maybe there was a way out. That they weren’t alone and that they mattered.

I remember when I broke and I threw myself out to this Universe saying because I didn’t know how to do this life anymore. I had nothing left.

I came across a CODA quote that read “You are precious and unrepeatable” and I sat and sobbed through my tears read it over and over. It was the beginning of my gruelling journey back to life – but a real life this time not a dissociated life.

What energizes me is being that beacon of light simply because I am me and sharing my story. I am precious and unrepeatable – and so are you.

Yes you and I mean that.

Today I have shifted my focus and have zero’d in on identifying what energizes me. I am SO excited!

#energy #chasing #gym #chaos #terror #ptsd #coda #precious #focus #universe #hope #stuck #life