(Notes From A FB Live Sept 27 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

I laughed and then learned a powerful reflection from my Monty’s reaction to seeing his reflection in a distorted piece of tin!

I had popped my pup Monty into the boxing ring for a sniff. He wandered down to the end where on the wall was a horizontal piece of beat up tin and he could see(ish) his reflection. He got scared and didn’t know what to do! He barked tentatively and would skitter backwards and bark again before running back to me. It was SO FUNNY!

As I watched him I thought about how when I view myself through a distorted lens of low self worth I can become very mean to myself. It has been a strenuous exercise to undo all the toxic programming I have received in my life.

Everything from having instability as a child and never knowing what was going to happen to the unrealistic expectations of what an acceptable woman looks like from Barbie.

And then the cult brain washing put ideas and beliefs supposedly from the bible on how a woman should think, act and behave. My coping mechanism of “when you’re happy I am safe” created massive distortions in my belief systems about myself much like a fun house mirror!

It was through therapy that I was able to begin my journey of banging out the tin of my own reflection so I could see the real me. By understanding the nature of the psychological fun house mirrors, I began to separate what was programming and what was simply undeveloped potential.

As I found my voice and gained an ability to speak my fear and confusion, I started to trust my friends and began to see myself through their eyes. Just like I was able to know that my Monty was safe, that he was seeing a reflection of himself and even though it looked scary, it was only because the tin was distorted, not him.

I learned that when I see myself and have a negative reaction into self hate or loathing, to check in with a trusted friend because perhaps I am seeing myself through a distorted piece of tin that is toxic programming.

#reflection #mirror #morkie #toxic #programming #boxing #growth #ptsd #fear #love #cult #barbie #therapy