(Notes from FB Live Sept 14 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

Today I was thinking of a learning where once again my understanding of life shifted significantly.

I was a very young parent and I didn’t have any real role models for raising children. We were in a cabin in the bush with no electricity, no running water, no people lol. I had stumbled across a reader’s digest article on boundaries and children. It blew my mind!

They took 2 elementary schools. One had a fence all the way to the sidewalk. The other wasn’t fenced. The fenced in children played freely in the entire yard. Then unfenced children tended to huddle closer to the school and didn’t have the same exuberance! The article explained that children needed boundaries in life. Needed to know they were safe and protected to let go and have all the fun they can.

I remember sitting and soaking it in and “painting” my life with this thought. I not only set boundaries with my kids, but I also expected them to test them to make sure they were secure so I wasn’t surprised when they did! And that boundaries move and life moves and so adapt. I also applied it to my relationships.

In order for me to have the fullest experience with a friend or a lover or a co-worker, it’s important to know where our boundaries are so that we can fully relax into the relationship without the constraint of worrying about stepping on toes.

It has taken me a long time to get to the place where I know what my likes, dislikes and tolerances are. Being co-dependent for almost all of my life had me so busy figuring out what your boundaries were and trying to manipulate myself to fit into them didn’t allow me to discern my own. I often take comfort and strength from in the lesson of the school fence. It’s really helped make changes that have been difficult to make. Standing up for myself and saying what is not okay with me is still a fairly new experience.

Knowing that it is not only productive to set boundaries, but is also extremely respectful for everyone makes it almost magical.

#boundaries #healthy #relationships #school #fences #claimingwellness #children #selfgrowth #clarity