(Notes from FB Live Sept 13 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

Not too long ago I decided I needed to give myself some love because I wasn’t doing a very good job at giving it. I set up a little exercise. I asked 10 friends for 3 things that they liked about being friends with me. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, I just had to write it down.

It was humbling to say the least and very difficult to sit there and hear nice things said about me. But I was able to do it and that is massive growth! For me! Happy smile!!

There were common threads for the most part and it was so rewarding to see that I was again dependable and loyal. And that they felt very supported by me and accepted for who they are how they are. And that I was honest about how I feel and what I think and gave my friends honest feedback about themselves.

Almost every said some form of “seeker” in that I am always looking for personal growth! I am seen!

8 years ago when I was in my dark times with PTSD and people were trying to help me and telling to “stop thinking … you think too much and that’s your problem.” I tried and almost died! I didn’t realize that PTSD is all about finding safety and that means knowing as much as I can.

I tried to become something I am not. AND then I realized – wait a minute! It’s isn’t all PTSD stuff! I am a strategic thinker. It’s how I am wired.

And I “claimed” myself. I designed the tattoo I put on my neck. The caterpillar gets filled up with sh*t. Crawls along a dead thorny vine because that’s how life feels. My chrysalis is a “thinking man.” It’s where everything gets melted down and reformed into what makes sense in my world. And then the path is a healthy thorny vine because life is STILL hard! Supposed to be. And then flight – the freedom of a butterfly.

I did a 3 month exercise to find a single word to describe myself. It turned out to be “seeker” which I tattoo’d on my wrist to remind me – it’s okay to be who I am how I am and use it as a strength. I am so grateful to claim my seeker.

#seeker #chrysalis #thinking #acceptance #tattoo #claimingwellness #ptsd #exercise #friends #selflove