(Notes from FB Live Sept 2 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

My understanding of how to be within myself and in the world changed when I was introduced to the concept of spheres of support. I am a visual person and loved the simplicity of the model. The centre sphere is self and is the hub of all my relationships because guess what? I am a part of all my relationships! The circle around that is filled with the people who are most important to me like my children and my closest friends. The one around that is the people who are important like my friends and co workers. The next one is people who I like such as acquaintances. Then the people who I have a super casual relationship with. Then people in general! I made a list of all the people in my life at the time. Then I put the people in the appropriate sphere!

It was life changing. I played with this idea for about a year and then added a new layer where I experienced a paradigm shift and literally became a different person. I made a list of the different types of support: emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual, practical, financial. Then for each person I ticked off the type of support they could give me. I very quickly understood that I was causing so much unnecessary suffering in my life because

I had expected every person to give me all the types of support and was wounded if they couldn’t. It was a game changer for me! I was also able to get super clear on the types of support I was able to give to others and how to explain it so I wasn’t trying to do something I am not able to do well and ultimately failing. I am finding now that then a friend or loved one disappoints me my automatic pilot turns to examine if I have been unfair in an expectation of them. Have I asked for something they are unable to give? If so, I am able to shift it around and seek the support I need from someone else or if I have had a reaction out loud, am able to go and apologize. I love clarity so much.

#support #spheresofinfluence #claimingwellness #ptsd #selfgrowth #recovery #acceptance #clarity