(Notes from FB Live Aug 27 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

I borrowed these beautiful shoes from my daughter. I am in a wedding party for the first time ever! The dress I bought because I have to have it custom altered to fit me but the shoes I can borrow. I have typically only had one of each – sneakers, sandals, slubby sneakers, steel toed boots, rainboots and now motorcycle boots! of which I have 3 sets! So it’s fantastic for me to be able to draw on someone else’s taste and borrow as I learn and grow.

It got me thinking about the lesson I learned a long time ago when I heard the saying”don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”  This helped me open my mind and heart to other people’s experience, that perhaps I don’t have all the facts and helped me move out of judgment and assumption. Then I heard the saying “don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.  That way when you do criticize someone, you’re a mile away and you’ve got their shoes!” That made me laugh! But it also furthered the meaning because it is plainly highlighting the fact that ignorant criticism is painful and people could retaliate in a manner that requires you have a head start! Not the kind of person I want to be.

I remember back in the dark times of PTSD when I would be sitting in extreme pain in my hole and people would say “I know exactly how you feel” and try and offer a solution to fix me.  They didn’t know. At all. Not even a tiny little bit. And it would drive me further into isolation. I had a friend who would come and sit with me and make all the appropriate noises and say things like “I don’t even know what to say, that must be so hard.” And it comforted me. I had to do the work to pull myself out but having company while I was doing it gave me hope and strength because I am not alone. I am learning how to check in with people, finding out what it is they need. Asking if they want help looking for a solution, or if they are just feeling their feelings and want quiet company.

#ptsd #empathy #shoes #claimingwellness  #darkness #isolation #friendship #selfgrowth