(Notes from FB Live Aug 23 2018 ~ Click to Watch)

Once a friend of mine was going on and on about the fancy cars he saw at a trade show. He asked if I even liked cars? I laughed and said that I have my dream car already. His eyebrows shot up excitedly and then were crushed when I said 3 years ago I did my first vision board and my “dream” car was a Golf. And I had NO idea how I would ever get a brand new one! Fast track a year and my beautiful daughter was on the transplant list for lungs. My old car started making grumpy noises and I couldn’t handle the stress of it breaking down – when my daughter needed to depend on me. Volkswagen was having a 0 interest for lots of months so I went in on a “try it and see what happens.” To my utter shock and surprise I walked out with a brand spanking new black on black 4 door Volkswagen Golf with upgraded lights and sound! Visions boards, I’m telling you it’s where it’s at!

That winter I was driving a friend home with some stuff. There was lots of snow. I was backing into her driveway crunching over crunchy snow and she said “oh you have to stop right now!” Turns out she has a short cement planter pot on the side of her driveway and yep – that was the crunching noise I was hearing! It was just low enough that it looked like a snow bank. Big scrape down the side of my brand new car! Her reactions was horror and I kept saying it was just something that happened. It was an accident and that was all.

On the drive home though, I began thinking! Oh oh! And then I began doubting myself wondering why I wasn’t upset! And then the condemnation voices started … “you don’t deserve anything nice” and “how could you have been so stupid” and “everyone is going to think you are useless.” To the point that by the time I got home I was blubbery with tears and dragged my partner over to see it. He did the “no big deal” and then I felt stupid! For being so emotional when it isn’t even my style! It gave me such a great lesson, that we are all different. What is important to one may not be important to another and that’s okay.

#ptsdrecovery #volkswagen #shamed #claimingwellness #transplant

(This is the photoshop pic I created for my original 2015 Vision Board! Car bought in 2016!!)